Urban Magazine’s September issue spotlights multi-hyphenate creative Erika Bryant (@erikabryant), who returns for her second cover as she approaches her 50th birthday and reflects on more than two decades working across music, television, producing, writing, and entrepreneurship. Bryant discusses the importance of betting on yourself, following purpose over money, building creative teams with compassion, and embracing fear as a catalyst for growth. She also opens up about her forthcoming book, Doing It Scared in Love & Relationships, exploring vulnerability, intimacy, ambition, and giving yourself permission to make room for love while still pursuing a fully realized life. Other features include the soulful singer/songwriter Davion Farris (@iamdavionf), Def Jam's R&B singer Genia (@geniawashere), Ashia Montgomery (@ashia90day) of 90 Day Fiancé, and so much more.
Out of everything, that has been the hardest thing to deal with.
Has the difficulty with the visa changed how you and Maxwell approach your future? I think it has taught me to always have a solid Plan A, but also consider the what-ifs. And be prayed up. Originally, we were praying really, really hard about the situation. But as time went on, because the process took so long, we got comfortable. Instead of continuing to fast and pray that everything would work out, we became so confident that we were going to get an approval. So my thing now is: Always have a backup plan, and be prayed up.
What have you learned about yourself throughout this journey — whether about your faith, relationships or interacting with people from another cultural background? I feel like all my life I’ve been around a lot of different cultures, especially when I was in pharmacy school. I’ve always felt like I know how to conduct myself around anybody. I know how to make people feel comfortable and welcome, no matter their background or culture. I can embrace it. The hardest thing for me was when I said one wrong thing — I didn’t say “good morning” — and viewers tore me up for that. People were saying I didn’t know how to embrace other cultures or that I didn’t respect other cultures. That was so far from the truth. It’s something I’m still dealing with to this day. I still get comments about that one.
As you’re learning Maxwell’s culture, what has required the two of you to really work on how you communicate? The biggest thing when you’re trying to communicate and learn is patience. Don’t think it’s going to be instant. You have to be a good listener. I talk more than I listen, unfortunately. But you have to listen, you have to be teachable and you have to try to be compassionate. Sometimes you get so used to the way you do things that you think, “Whatever, that’s not important.” You brush something off and say, “I know, I know, I know.” But you really need to listen to what the other person is saying. When you’re listening, you’re teachable and you’re open to new experiences, things go a little more smoothly.
You’ve described your journey as proof that it’s never too late to find love. What would you say to someone watching your story who has started to believe love has passed them by? Love can never pass you by. I feel like the biggest thing is being prepared. Pray to God and let God know the desires of your heart. Delight yourself in the Lord, make sure what you want lines up with His will, and then be prepared. I wasn’t prepared. I needed to cook a little bit more and learn a few more recipes. I needed to be a little tidier. There were a lot of things I needed to work on to be prepared for this man, and I wasn’t. Now I’m getting a crash course. A lot of women are so fixated on, “Where’s the man? Where’s the man? Where’s the man?” instead of asking, “What do I need to work on? How can I strengthen my relationship with God?” I feel like God will answer those prayers.
NA'ILAH BURSTON