Urban Magazine’s September issue spotlights multi-hyphenate creative Erika Bryant (@erikabryant), who returns for her second cover as she approaches her 50th birthday and reflects on more than two decades working across music, television, producing, writing, and entrepreneurship. Bryant discusses the importance of betting on yourself, following purpose over money, building creative teams with compassion, and embracing fear as a catalyst for growth. She also opens up about her forthcoming book, Doing It Scared in Love & Relationships, exploring vulnerability, intimacy, ambition, and giving yourself permission to make room for love while still pursuing a fully realized life. Other features include the soulful singer/songwriter Davion Farris (@iamdavionf), Def Jam's R&B singer Genia (@geniawashere), Ashia Montgomery (@ashia90day) of 90 Day Fiancé, and so much more.
eyes were open. I wanted to make sure this guy lined up with what he had been telling me. I watched how he treated people, how he treated the waitstaff, how he interacted with his friends and his family. We had such a short amount of time to spend together, so I was really paying attention. Between our similarities, our religion and seeing that his actions lined up with what he was saying, that meant a lot to me.
Both your family and Maxwell’s family have questioned some of your decisions and the pace of the relationship. What was it like dealing with uncertainty from the people closest to you when you were hoping for their support? It’s annoying, because I’ve already made my decision. At that point, what you’re looking for is support. I feel like I’m intelligent. I feel like I have a lot of wisdom, and then I have God. I have a strong gift of discernment, so I know when something is right for me and when something is wrong for me. It’s aggravating when people who have known me all my life know that nine times out of 10, I make great decisions. Why would you think I would drop the ball on something so important? I know people talk about age, menopause and all of those things, but I wouldn’t rush into a decision because of my age or because of a fear that I might not be able to have children.
What do you think your families were seeing that made them question the relationship? The biggest thing is that when you’re dating someone and you don’t see them all the time, you don’t really have certainty. What are they doing? Do they have another girlfriend over there? What are they doing when you’re not together?
And how can you really know someone if you’re not spending a lot of time together? I’m big on that. I do feel like you need to see a person in all seasons. You need to see how they are when they’re angry, when they’re sad — you need to see all of that. At the same time, I had to rely on the fact that I felt like God told me this was my person. I had to have faith that I heard God correctly.
You and Maxwell have a 10-year age difference. Has that become a major part of the conversation surrounding your relationship? And what do you wish people understood about the two of you that they might not see from the outside? A lot of people thought I was bossy, first of all. They thought I was pretty bossy. I don’t feel like I’m bossy, per se. I just know what I want, and I know how I want things. If I think the way I’m doing something is going to benefit you, I’m going to try to get you to go in that direction. That’s just my personality. As far as the age difference, if Maxwell is OK with the age and Ashia is OK with the age, why should it be a problem for somebody else? We chose each other. Let us be happy with our choice.
There have been several obstacles standing between you and the future you envisioned with Maxwell, from the visa process to outside criticism. Which challenge has been the hardest emotionally? That visa. Hands down, that visa. I already knew what God said. I knew what His promise was, so I had already imagined this man in the U.S. We had this beautiful home, these careers — I had already envisioned so many things. It never crossed my mind, even for a split second, that the visa would be denied. That rocked my world. I was not prepared for that one.