'You have so many unbelievably talented people that were not getting opportunities before, and it's not to say that everything is perfect now, but, bit by bit, things are shifting.' by bit, things are shifting. There's a space that's been opened up to handle it, but I would always be writing. I realised that it was where there were limitations before.
Michelle: I hear you. So, let's talk about your success. From my observations, you were catapulted into success. Do you feel success was freeing for you or restrictive?
Ms Dynamite: I feel like it's about our definition of success really, isn't it? I went from being in a hostel on Jobseeker's Allowance, and I say this not as a victim at all. You know, I'm so thankful for my journey, but just to explain some of the challenges that I was experiencing at that time. I had gone through a lot, as we all do. I'm a very emotional person, and I'm also this strong feisty protector. I didn't have anywhere or even know how to even see that emotion within myself. It would just come out as anger. So, I just got into a really, really deep and dark space. I wasn't eating, I weighed seven stone. I just wasn't in a good place. I just didn't know it and I didn't see it because I was so in it, and then almost the next day, I was on the front of papers and in magazines, and everyone was saying, 'Oh my gosh, you're so amazing. Sing that for us again!
Overnight, I had a massive distraction from what I was really feeling inside. I was given funds and given the space to be creative, but that came with a lot of attention which I never really wanted. I couldn't cope with the attention, but at the same time, there must have been something about it inside that felt great because I kept doing it and I kept going back.
In that sense, I would say it was amazing. It's like the success created a fairytale bubble for me to live in. I wasn't carried away by things like a young teenager who's gone from nada to 'Wow, now you can do anything you want' I just was really happy to be happy.
On the other side, it became a bit of a living nightmare, the success. I'm a very private person and suddenly, nothing was private. Whether I wanted to be noticed or not, that choice was gone. But I was really thankful for it. So, when I'd have those feelings of like, 'This is too much, I'd feel like, 'You haven't got a right to feel like that. You've been given this amazing opportunity. You've just got to keep going. You haven't got a right to want your own space, and you haven't got a right to complain
Michelle: Was your creativity an escape at that time, or was it stifled because of feeling that way? How did that affect your creative process?
Ms Dynamite: At times I would feel so emotional, I almost just couldn't be creative because I was so overloaded with expectations to keep coming with the goods. I didn't know how self-therapy for me. It was part of healing. I didn't know it at the time, but it was part of a way of me taking in all this stuff and feeling all of this pain, and then not necessarily being able to have conversations either directly with people. When I couldn't do that, I would be writing, and it was, like, at least a way of just getting out.
Michelle: What do you want your mark to be on the music industry?
Ms Dynamite: I would say I would totally leave that to whatever anybody wants to take from it. I wouldn't want to force anyone to think or feel this or that. I just want to do my work and, hopefully, it just connects in a positive way. It was always about a message of love, togetherness, understanding and healing. even if that was my personal healing or as a community or just as people across the globe. It was about love.
Michelle: My daughter is 18 and I laugh because when she plays Booo!, she plays it like she knows what she's talking about, and I'm like, 'What do you know about Booo!?' When your music lives on and on, that's the greatest blessing. Ms Dynamite: Honestly, for me too. When we made Booo! with Sticky, we went in, we had fun and then the rest happened. So, I haven't, been going 'My gosh, look what I did. I went into the studio, and then it was sharing with the people, and then it's just lived this long. That's very exciting for me.
Michelle: That's just testament to the energy of music. It takes on its own life and, because of the intent and the energy behind it, you feel that. You can't break it down and deconstruct it. It's a feeling and I think you get a feeling from music that transcends time and generations because you can tap into that energy. To be in that space and to be that conduit, to be able to do that, that's the gift.
Ms Dynamite: Yes. It is a gift. I'm like, 'Wow, you did not do all of this by yourself, and to be honest, yes it's such a blessing.
Michelle: Can we expect to hear more from Ms Dynamite? Ms Dynamite: Without a doubt, but please don't ask me when exactly because me and her have been having a couple of conversations for a long time. She's like, 'Yes, I'm ready now, and I'm not. Then I'm ready and she's not! She is a part of me and, if I'm honest, I've been running from her for a long time, but she's not going anywhere. So, yes.
Want more?
Read the extended interview with Ms Dynamite at prsformusic.com/m-magazine
M Magazine 11