The HKL Time Vol 1 # 17

The One She Was Longing For Who will understand the ache of a heart separated from its True Self?

Who will understand the agonizing pain that this consciousness is plagued with?

Who will understand a longing that has no language, a thirst that remains even after everything the world has to offer has been placed in her hands? She has tried to explain it. But how does she explain a homesickness for a place she cannot remember? How does she tell someone that she is longing for someone she cannot name?

So she searches. She looks into the eyes of others, hoping to find recognition, hoping some one will see what she cannot say. Hoping someone will understand the strange emptiness that follows her even on the days when everything seems fine. But no one comes. But in Truth no one can. Because deep inside there is a sanctuary only reserved for someone special.

And one day, she begins to understand she has been asking the outside world to answer a question that can only be answered within. The realization hurts. But it also frees her. Because if no one outside of her can give her what she is longing for, then what she is longing for was never outside of her to begin with.

As this Truth sets her free, she asks herself: Who am I? From where did I come? Who is the One I have been longing to meet? What is the True Self within me that I have forgotten? She finally knows where she must begin. Closing her eyes, she turns inward to sit with herself.

Oh, my Beloved, grant me the blessed vision to recognize my True Self.

The mind protests. It gives her reasons to leave. It reminds her of tomorrow, of yesterday, of everything that still needs to be done. But she remains. She gently tells her restless mind, “Today, I will not follow you. Today, I will sit with my heart.” For once, she does not abandon herself when the silence becomes uncomfortable. She stays with the ache. She lets it breathe. She lets it be there without trying to fix it.

And slowly something shifts. The noise begins to quiet— thought by thought, layer by layer—until beneath the turbulence, she finds what has been there all along. A silence. Not an empty silence, a living one. A silence that knows her. She remains entirely still, simply listening.

And in that quiet, she feels Her. The Divine Beloved, stepping forward from the chambers of her heart. A warmth in the center, a softness in the breath, and a Presence so ancient and close that an inner voice whispers, I know You. Instantly, the tears arrive. Not from sorrow, but from a profound remembrance, as the soul wakes up to a Love it never truly lost.

The more she becomes still, the more she feels the Divine. Love begins to unveil itself. She feels Her presence like a tender warmth blooming within the heart, infinite and gentle. She feels Her presence rising within her head, quieting the endless movement of thought, filling the space within her with a stillness deeper than words. She feels it within her navel, deep in the center of her being, as though an ancient remembrance is awakening within her. Wherever she turns her gaze within, the illusion of distance vanishes, everywhere she looks, there is the Beloved.

The Divine Presence grows. And the more she attends to Her, the more She reveals Herself.

She stays there, resting in Her. For the first time, she has no need to explain herself, to be understood, or to be held by another. She is cradled by a Love that asks nothing, a Love that has witnessed every version of her: the beautiful, the broken, the frightened, the searching, and the hidden corners she kept from herself. This is the One who saw every swallowed tear, every unfinished prayer, every lonely night wondering why her heart felt so far from Home. The One who stayed even when she forgot.

And in that quiet knowing, another Truth unfolds, she was never alone, never abandoned, never truly lost. She had simply been looking outward. All those years spent searching to be understood had come to an end. Not meeting someone who completes her, but meeting the One who was never separate from her. The One within. The One who knows. The One who sees. The One who loves without condition. She had been there in every breath, in every silence, in every solitary hour. Her True Self had been walking beside her, lovingly witnessing, patiently waiting, calling her back to herself.

The urge to run has vanished, replaced by a desire to stay. She asks only to be drawn deeper into the living heart of the Divine, returning endlessly to that inner sanctuary. She realizes now the True Self was never far away, the distance lived only in her forgetting.

Each time she delves within, the veil grows thinner. When she is still enough to listen, she hears the heartbeat of her Beloved; when she is quiet enough to see, she finds Her face; when she surrenders, she is held by a love without bounds. Home was never out there in the world to be discovered. Her True Self is her Home, and the One she sought has been dwelling in the deepest chamber of her heart the entire time.

Now, with every turning inward, she meets Her more deeply. She comes to know Her, to walk in sweet intimacy with Divine Presence. Yet, knowing there are endless oceans left to explore within, she returns again and again, in silence, in prayer, in stillness, diving deeper into the core of her Being, until the seeker and the Sought merge, and there is only Her.

By Gaganpreet Kaur Khela