St Mary the Blessed Virgin Parish Magazine June 2026
Following on from Christopher Parker's recent articles about the English language.... As you read this story see how many hidden words and phrases you can find relating to English as a language, including grammar, spelling and punctuation. Some are obvious, like ‘consonant' and 'colon,' but others are less easy to find as they are hidden in other words while others sound correct but aren't spelt as they should be. I think you'll be surprised. There are over 50 to find. Good luck.
An 'English' Marriage
A consonant walks into a bar and sits down next to a vowelly girl. "She introduces herself as Phenicia.
"Hi Phen" he says. "I'll alphabet you've never been here before."
"Of cursive I have," she replies. “I come here all the time. "For me, it's parse for the course."
The consonant remains stationery, enveloped by the vowelly girl's letter-perfect charm.
“Here's a cute joke,” he states declarative-ly. “Up at the North Pole St. Nicholas is the main Clause. His wife is a relative Clause. His chil- dren are the dependent Clauses. Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause. Santa's elves are subordinate Clauses. As a group, they're all well-noun Clauses."
Then he lays on some more dashes of humour: "Have you heard about the fellow that had half his colon removed? He walked around with a semi-colon."
"Are you prepositioning me?" said the vowelly girl.
"I won't be indirect. You are the object of my preposition. Your beauty phrase my nerves. Won't you come to my place for a o-ordinating conjunction?"
"I don't want to be diacritical of you, but you're such a boldfaced character!" replies the vowelly girl. "Do I have to spell it out to you, or are you just plain comma-tose? I'm not your type so get off my case!" Despite his past perfect, he is, at present tense.
"Puh-leeze, gag me with a spoonerism!" she objects, "As my Grammar and other correlatives used to say, your mind is in the guttural. I resent your umlautish behaviour. You should know what the wages of syntax are. I nominative absolutely decline to conjugate with you for sure!"
"You get high quotation marks for that one," he smiles, “even if I think you're in a rather subjunctive mood about all this. I so admire 26