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In good conscience, you might have switched your banking to one of the more wholesome online alternatives, or chosen an ethical fund for your Workplace Pension investment, trying to navigate a more virtuous way of living within the supply/demand machinates of neoliberal capitalism. But apart from the diamond trade—indeed, any business involving human miners the free market doesn't get much uglier than the journey this pure white powder has been through en route to the zippy pocket of your wallet. No, this ain't no fair trade enterprise; it's one seriously high-risk, high-stakes economic sector resulting in over 7,000 deaths per year, and this is before anyone's even had a toot.
The UK is now snorting twice as much as it did twenty years ago, and despite having a Labour government, is still drifting to the right. Is this just coincidence? Undoubtedly the go-to Class A for your average far- right fuckwit. Check out any Wetherspoons pub on Saturday night, or the ragbaggle of thugs and gammons following the likes of Tommy Robinson a man who posts videos spewing moronic bile whilst chiselled off his nut, who boasts of scoring wherever he travels, edgelording over some lines he snorted inside a Saudi mosque.
Not a recent right-wing habit either the lines can be traced all the way back to the Führer himself, who preferred to administer his marching powder through an aerosol, which is novel if nothing else. Much like your typical Hollywood A-lister, Hitler had a private physician on tow, catering to his every chemical whim. Still, he may I have been the evilest human to have ever existed, but he cannot be accused of being selfish with his stash, because in 1940 he authorised the distribution of 35 million methamphetamine tablets to his troops and sent crates of chocolate bars laced with the same to their Panzer command and the Flieger division, including the pilots. These were not decisions made sober.
But what truly makes cocaine right-wing is more than just the company it keeps it's the effect on its user: pumping the ego, amplifying the individual, the bedrock of right-wing neoliberal thinking. Thatcher famously once said, "There is no such thing as society," as she ushered in the 'me, myself, I' culture; survival of the fittest; each to their own her blind devotion to the Hayekian principle that, in some strange magical way, selfish pursuit will translate into collective success. She convinced the nation, the US President, and the rest of the world followed. The philosophical cause of the largest shift of wealth in human history, from the poorest to the richest.
Don't get me wrong, I'm on no moral crusade here far from it. I've done it many times, perhaps too many, and quite possibly was a bit of a cunt too. But it's in my rear-view now a lockdown realisation it's a bullshit drug, taking way more than it gives. And when you're on first-name terms with various members of the Albanian mafia, it's probably time to have a fucking word with yourself.
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Why Cocaine Is A Right-Wing Drug / Words: Dave Thomson
"Cocaine pumps the ego, amplifies the individual, and fuels the 'me, myself, culture-its users chemically enhanced self-belief while the world shifts further to the right.
As drugs go, the perpetual aftermath accompanying cocaine use surely gives it one of the lowest scores on the pleasure measure? Waking up soaked in sweat, alcohol-pickled, blood-poisoned, heart palpitating, serotonin depleted, all meaning sucked from existence, and you ask yourself: "What's the fucking point of all this?” But it isn't long before you're itching for a reason to get back on it, one that allows you to convince yourself you don't have a problem it's a communal thing, the crowd you hang with, they all like a toot, it's normal, like a cup of tea, the perfect quick-fix social aid, not to mention the go-to reset when peaking on the booze, 'cos when you're on the powder you can drink like a fucking sperm whale. Unable to stand or speak, a bump or two later you're back on your feet, right as rain (kind of), gabbering like a gibbon 'bout any old shit. Matters not no one's listening, except to themselves, because each and every one of us is all that matters, the reason for existence itself, the universe's epicentre.
I cannot deny, some of my best memories involve cocaine, but when I really add these up, they're the exception, not the rule. And therein lies the problem we crave that place but rarely find our way back, addicted more to euphoric memory than the drug itself. Grinding teeth and chatting shit with randoms, feeling little more than its ability to keep us awake and prevent nihilism creeping in, because who the fuck wants that? Another line to push the darkness away, searching for satori through a Starbucks straw.
Whether you suck it from an aerosol, sprinkle it on your cornflakes, or sniff it through a cane on a supersonic train, it can sometimes make you feel invincible, like you're gonna live forever-well, more like an hour, until the feeling fades. So, rack up another, let's keep this shit going: chemically enhanced self-belief, augmented opinions, world-changing bullshit, and perhaps the real reason politicians aren't fucking listening because they're not. I mean, what the fuck do we know anyway? Look at what we vote for.