FEATURES
Words are incredibly sacred and important. Our fundamental beliefs form in our early years, with our family’s perspective and attitude towards certain subjects being the building blocks of our own belief system, helping us mold and form ideas and thoughts of our own as we mature. They can range from positive (empowering, optimistic), to negative (bashful, demotivating), and everything in between. Once they’ve been introduced to us, they slowly become ingrained into our minds and dig deeper the more we are exposed to them without question. Soon they become our dominant thoughts— like a record playing on loop in the back of our minds.
But we don’t even realise that it’s playing on loop. The more we give credence to a certain thing, the more we believe it, hardening into a “truth” we ultimately give in to.
Let’s say you have a best friend. She’s as pretty as a picture and captivates everyone in the room with her. Not only that, but she’s also a social butterfly and has lots of other friends. You, on the other hand, are not as attractive as she is and not as outgoing either. While she is getting all these compliments regarding her looks and personality, you get the short end of the stick, all the negative comments deflecting onto you.
“I don’t even know why she’s friends with you.” “You’re not even pretty let alone compared to her.” “Can you speak up more like her? Maybe then people will actually like you.” — amongst many others. Throughout the entire timeline of your friendship with her, you were subjected to these types of comments. In the beginning you were unfazed and shot back at everyone that had things to say, but gradually over time you ceased, and the comments started getting to you more and more.
This leads to you carrying these assumptions of yourself everywhere. Someone makes an attempt to befriend you? They're just using me to get to her. No one wants to be my friend if I'm this quiet and untalkative. Someone compliments you? They’re lying. Why would they talk to someone ugly like me?
Negative beliefs self-sustain all throughout life, with us as the magnet attracting them. We manage to find every bit of information and evidence in situations that support these beliefs, whilst repelling the information that contradicts them. This never ending cycle locks people in, making it difficult to accept positive information.