DEAD MAN
This is sort of the prequel to left alone in a sense. It's about the period of emotional turmoil you experience when you can feel a relationship falling apart in front of you. Not yet removed, still in the quicksand. There's no worse feeling than grasping at straws desperately trying to keep something from failing, especially when it feels like you're the only one. we've all done it in some way! It sucks. Mike elizondo showed me the bones of the track and it immediately made me think of this sort of macabre, witchy, campy world. That's how I thought of dead man as the title and then pulled from that.
I'm very bad with the passing of time, death, and change, and my anxiety around those things has been a huge part of my personal life for years. I've touched on it loosely in some of my music but I was feeling a particular kind of melancholy the day I wrote this one. Some days I'll get hit with a scent or taste or image that sends me into this state of hyper-nostalgia and it becomes a little crippling. I know it sounds dramatic but it's really something I get plagued by often. What do you mean I'll never be a kid splitting a tangerine 4 ways with my family every dinner again? What do you mean my 20s are almost over? How do you swallow the bitter pill of impermanence? Being a person is too hard sometimes. Who signed us up for this? It's an ache that won't subside.