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I begin with the Tatcha Camellia Cleansing Oil, massaged into dry skin for a full 60 seconds. I have been asleep. I was not impure. I cleanse anyway. I always cleanse. This is followed imme- diately by the CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser, the first cleanse is for the sins of the night, the second is for the soul and then Bioderma Sen- sibio Micellar Water, because there is always something left behind. Always.
The Paula's Choice 2% BHA Exfoliant comes next. My skin is turning over its old cells. I under- stand this on a personal level. Then the SK-II Fa- cial Treatment Essence, patted in with both palms pressed together as if praying. I am praying. I am always praying at this stage. Three drops of SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic follow no more, less. Once I used four drops. I don't speak about that time.
By step 12, I always feel calmness. Like the world outside is irrelevant. Like perhaps I don't need to leave the bathroom. Like perhaps I won't. The The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% goes on in overlapping figure-eights. The La Roche-Posay Hyalu B5 must be applied to damp skin if your skin is not damp, the serum pulls moisture from the atmosphere, and then the atmosphere has less moisture, and that feels like too much reno
People ask how I look so refreshed. I tell them: 47 steps. They laugh. I don't.
sponsibility for one product. Eye cream Kiehl's Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado tapped in with the ring finger, always the ring finger, be- cause it has the lightest touch. I named my ring fingers. This is fine.
Steps 15 and 16 are the Mount Lai Rose Quartz Gua Sha and the jade roller. The gua sha sleeps in the fridge from 3 AM. It is cold. It is perfect. It is always cold. Upward strokes only. What has fallen must be lifted. Then Drunk Elephant Virgin Marula Face Oil, pressed in with open palms and held for three seconds. The warmth is yours. You made it. It belongs to you now. By step 29, I pause and look in the mirror. I look refreshed. I look hydrated. I look like someone who has been awake for hours tending to a sa- cred and unknowable duty. I look so ready to go back to sleep. I am so ready to go back to sleep. Steps 30 through 46 include Armani Luminous Silk, Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter, NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer (two shades lighter, to conceal the evidence of the routine, which is itself the evidence of the concealing), Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask applied twice, and finally putting every product back on the shelf, exactly 2.3 centimetres apart, labels forward. Step 47: go back to bed.
It is 8:23 AM. You are luminous. You are ex- tremely tired in a way that feels deeply purified. Pull the covers up carefully so as not to disturb the SPF. Close your eyes.