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- it's a totally a win.
- I haven't been hungry since 2018.
My Instagram did not happen to me. I happened to my Instagram.
The only correct light that exists is a rare occa- sion, so I surrounded myself with artificial lights. It makes my Bleach London Washed Blue hair look exactly like it does in my head otherworldly, slightly threatening, deeply inconvenient for an- yone standing near me. I don't let people stand near me in photos. This is not up for discussion. My hair is blue. Not Pinterest blue, not "dusty lavender that fades to grey in a week" blue. Arc- tic Fox Poseidon over a full bleach, maintained with Fanola No Yellow, which is ironically very yellow in the bottle and I find this funny in a way I don't explain to people. The lip is MAC Matte in Blue-Brown layered under NYX Lip Liner in Midnight. It is the top trend right now. I was do- ing it before it was a trend. The Council has the timestamps.
The Council is what we call the group chat. There are five of us. We did not choose the name ironically.
Yernur handles backgrounds. He once made me retake an entire mirror selfie because a motivational quote was visible on a mug in the reflection. He said it disrupted the "atmosphere of mild dread" we have spent two years cultivat- ing. No more ugly mug in my apartment, he is lowkey professional.
V manages the grid. She will tell you, without hesitation or remorse, if a post is throwing off the palette. Last month I had a photo three shades too warm, she caught it. I owe her something I cannot name.
Anissa writes the captions. Technically I write them, but she removes anything that sounds like I'm trying, anything that sounds like I care, anything that sounds like I had a pleasant day. My captions average six words.
I, personally, approve the energy and the vibes I want to give off. No joke here.
Everything in my day is a concept, that can be photographed. Ofcourse, in this process you learn to leave out the unpleasant parts, such as you without full face of make up. Each pho- to takes 20-30 tries minimum. I have to look perfect.
P.S: The blue lip takes 22 minutes to apply cor- rectly. I have been asked if it's uncomfortable. I find the question offensive.
People comment you look like you don't care what anyone thinks.
Correct.
That took three years, five people, a fourteen-page colour palette doc- ument, renewal of my rented apart- ment, and approx- imately 4,300 ar- chived photos that no one will ever see.
I don't care what anyone thinks.
I work so hard.
Consider only opinions from people, who are aesthetically plasing.
Tip of the day:
I begin with the Tatcha Camellia Cleansing Oil, massaged into dry skin for a full 60 seconds. I have been asleep. I was not impure. I cleanse anyway. I always cleanse. This is followed imme- diately by the CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser, the first cleanse is for the sins of the night, the second is for the soul and then Bioderma Sen- sibio Micellar Water, because there is always something left behind. Always.
The Paula's Choice 2% BHA Exfoliant comes next. My skin is turning over its old cells. I under- stand this on a personal level. Then the SK-II Fa- cial Treatment Essence, patted in with both palms pressed together as if praying. I am praying. I am always praying at this stage. Three drops of SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic follow no more, less. Once I used four drops. I don't speak about that time.
By step 12, I always feel calmness. Like the world outside is irrelevant. Like perhaps I don't need to leave the bathroom. Like perhaps I won't. The The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% goes on in overlapping figure-eights. The La Roche-Posay Hyalu B5 must be applied to damp skin if your skin is not damp, the serum pulls moisture from the atmosphere, and then the atmosphere has less moisture, and that feels like too much reno
People ask how I look so refreshed. I tell them: 47 steps. They laugh. I don't.
sponsibility for one product. Eye cream Kiehl's Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado tapped in with the ring finger, always the ring finger, be- cause it has the lightest touch. I named my ring fingers. This is fine.
Steps 15 and 16 are the Mount Lai Rose Quartz Gua Sha and the jade roller. The gua sha sleeps in the fridge from 3 AM. It is cold. It is perfect. It is always cold. Upward strokes only. What has fallen must be lifted. Then Drunk Elephant Virgin Marula Face Oil, pressed in with open palms and held for three seconds. The warmth is yours. You made it. It belongs to you now. By step 29, I pause and look in the mirror. I look refreshed. I look hydrated. I look like someone who has been awake for hours tending to a sa- cred and unknowable duty. I look so ready to go back to sleep. I am so ready to go back to sleep. Steps 30 through 46 include Armani Luminous Silk, Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter, NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer (two shades lighter, to conceal the evidence of the routine, which is itself the evidence of the concealing), Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask applied twice, and finally putting every product back on the shelf, exactly 2.3 centimetres apart, labels forward. Step 47: go back to bed.
It is 8:23 AM. You are luminous. You are ex- tremely tired in a way that feels deeply purified. Pull the covers up carefully so as not to disturb the SPF. Close your eyes.
MOTOROLA
Nikon
Scripted a publication about the perfor- mance of everyday life. Not wellness. Not lifestyle. Not beauty in the traditional sense. The space between who people are and who they represent, the exhaust- ing, meticulous, occasionally unhinged labour that lives in that gap.
Every piece is written in character. First person, unreliable narrator, aggressively specific voice. The writer is always some- one who believes completely in what they are doing and cannot see what the reader sees. That dramatic irony is the whole thing.
We are the first people in history to cu- rate ourselves in real time, to worry about details in the phot, always running for "perfect" shot. We film, then we yearn the moments. There is an enormous amount of comparison in social media. The pres- sure of bloggers, ads, posters.
In the publication you can see character development of a new generation persona, you read through her thought. She becomes real. By the end, you face pages showing how she was invented and what it took to make her perform.
This is how I actu- ally look.
- It is so easy to fake person, lifestyle, dreams and suurroundings. Don't believe in everything you see and don't try to pressure your- self to change.
This is how I actu- ally look.
It is so easy to fake a person, lifestyle, dreams and suurroundings. Don't believe in everything you see and don't try to pressure your- self to change.