The HKL Time Vol 1 # 18

Everything felt barren. Life felt barren and dry. Purposeless.

I found myself at a crossroads, faced with a choice: keep my comfortable job and continue deceiving myself by appearing happy on the outside for my family while, on the inside, I was crying for help or leave my job, let go of everything I had been taught by society, and be gin anew, with a clean slate.

I needed to embark on a jour ney to ask myself, “Who am I, truly?”

I knew my life depended on this choice. Should I continue living in misery, which seemed easier and more comfortable, or finally choose myself and fol low my heart’s calling toward something it yearned for but had not yet revealed to me? This was terrifying for my mind and those around me.

I contemplated. I spoke to fam ily members and coworkers, asking them what I should do. But how could anyone else know the answer to a question so deeply personal?

Then I sat with myself, again and again, until the layers of my mind began to settle and I could feel what I was being guided to do.

My heart already knew, but eventually, I received the an swer clearly:

Follow your heart. It will lead you where you are meant to be.

I summoned the courage, wrote my resignation letter, told my family, and left behind every thing I had known or, in other words, had been conditioned to believe I needed to know. I let go of the textbook knowledge, the degrees, and the expectations of my family that had weighed so heavily on my shoulders.

The year 2023 marked a year of true transformation.

I came to Punjab, India, where I resided at Bulandpuri Sahib. My only goal was to change. It was now or never.

I was deeply dissatisfied with who I had become. When I looked in the mirror, I could barely recognize the person standing before me.

This dissatisfaction remained because, for the first time, I had nothing external to hold on to—no degree, no job, no fami ly expectations to fulfill. With out these things, I felt naked, as though I had been stripped of all the falsehoods I had attached myself to in an attempt to feel fulfilled.

Now, my goal was change. In ner change. An inner transfor mation that could take me to such heights that I could final ly live and breathe with ease, knowing I was living a life that honored who I truly am.

And this could only begin if I truly learned to be with myself.

Meditation transformed my life in ways I never knew were pos sible.

Meditation—the divine repe tition of His Name—was held every morning at 2:30 a.m. and again at 4:00 a.m. I had to set a goal because otherwise, my mind would keep me asleep, cozy beneath my blanket.

So, I made a commitment and wrote in my journal: “Medita tion Goal: 14 Days.”

For just 14 days, I would wake up and attend the 2:30 a.m. meditation with the holy con gregation.

By Divine Grace, those 14 days passed, and I attended every morning meditation. Each med itation was different from the one before, bringing to the sur face everything within me that needed to be cleansed, healed, and uplifted.

This gave me the motivation to continue for another two weeks. Once again, I opened my jour nal and set a new goal.

All I knew was this: Keep com ing. Keep connecting. Keep connecting.

No matter how much the mind resisted, I had to keep going. I knew meditation would change my life and save me. No matter what, I had to keep walking.

Day after day, I continued at tending meditation at 2:30 a.m. Day 34 arrived, then day 40.

After that, I stopped counting because I could no longer imag ine living without meditation. It has become my daily soul food.

I no longer needed to write my goals in my journal. Meditation has become a vital part of my being.

Meditation became the med icine for my dissatisfaction, the balm for the anguish of my soul. It was the answer I had been searching for, even when I didn’t know what I was seeking at that crossroads in my life.

Meditation saved my life. Med itation introduced me to who I truly am by taking me right inside myself and awakening

parts of me that were asleep, dormant, waiting to be uncov ered.

I feel so blessed to have chosen to follow my heart. Although the journey has not been all rainbows and butterflies, every step has been worth it.

I am now a lifelong student of life, and the Earth is my true school, where the Soul will be taught every lesson it needs to blossom forth

I will continue this inward jour ney until my last breath, and I can only pray that, through it all, I remain connected to my True Self.

By Gaganpreet Kaur Khela