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Welcome to my funeral wishes.
My name is Paul Anthony May, born on the 10th July 1953, and I wanted to take the time to set out my wishes for my funeral and the arrangements surrounding it.
Life.
On the 11th May 2026, I met with Alex from Life Funerals to discuss the different options available to me and to ensure my thoughts and wishes were clearly noted down. When I die, I want Life Funerals to carry out my funeral.
In this booklet, you will find the choices I have made and the things that are important to me. I wanted everything to be written down so I could have peace of mind knowing what will happen, but more importantly, to make things a little easier for you at what I know will be a difficult time.
Karen, thank you for taking the lead in helping finalise these arrangements for me. I know this responsibility comes with emotion and care, and I truly appreciate it.
Matthew and Charlie, I hope this booklet helps guide you and brings some comfort in knowing these decisions were made with love and thought. Most of all, I hope my funeral is not simply a goodbye, but a reflection of the life I lived, the people I cared about, and the memories we shared together.
There are many different options when it comes to funerals. Some people choose a natural burial, returning to the earth in one of the purest and most natural ways, perhaps wrapped in linen or placed within a wicker coffin. Others prefer a more traditional funeral with a black hearse, a formal service, and those around them gathering to mourn their loss.
Direct cremation is also an option, where there is no service or ceremony, and the ashes are simply returned afterwards. Some people choose this for its simplicity, while others do so because of cost.
Religion and faith can also play an important role in funerals. For those with religious beliefs, services can reflect and honour any faith or tradition desired.
There are also more informal but deeply meaningful services, such as gatherings held within our space on Daish Way, where up to fifteen people can come together to celebrate somebody's life in a more personal setting.
I, Paul, have chosen to have an attended cremation funeral here on the Isle of Wight.
I am not sure how many people may attend, but I like the thought that those who wish to come can gather, reflect, and remember the times we shared together. Perhaps some may even pat a hand on my coffin as they leave the chapel. For that reason, I would like the curtains to remain open.
I would like Jonathan Skeet to officiate my funeral. There is a lovely connection there, as he also conducted Mum's funeral. I will already be at the crematorium before you arrive waiting peacefully, for you all to come to my service. Alex and the team will welcome everyone in and guide you to your seats, taking care of everying, carefully and respectfully.
Whilst there was a time in my life when I followed the Buddhist faith, I do not wish for my funeral to be tied to any particular religion. I would rather the service focus on celebration, reflection, and the happy memories people hold of me.
I have not fully decided on the music yet, and I will speak further with Alex about this. What I do know is that music should be part of the service, music as people arrive, a meaningful piece during the ceremony, and music as everyone leaves. Music has always been a huge part of my life, and the Brading Community Choir holds a very special place in my heart.
Please wear whatever you feel comfortable in. There is no expectation for formal dress simply come as yourself.
There are many different types of coffins available today.
From environmentally friendly mushroom or wicker coffins, to solid oak or traditional American-style coffins, there are many ways a coffin can reflect somebody's personality, wishes, or beliefs.
Some people prefer a simple cardboard coffin where family and friends can write messages and memories directly onto it. Others prefer heavily polished and more traditional styles.
All coffins are fully lined and include a small pillow for comfort and presentation. At Life Funerals, the baseline coffins are handcrafted here on the Isle of Wight in the countryside of Calbourne, with each one bespoke made to the required size.
I have spoken with Alex and chosen an oak veneer coffin - something simple, respectful, and understated.
I do not particularly like the idea of something extremely expensive being cremated, and I would rather things remain modest and meaningful.
At Life Funerals, people are cared for with the utmost sensitivity, respect, and dignity at all times.
The team takes great pride in providing compassionate and attentive care in everything they do, understanding that every person in our care is somebodys, someone.
There are on site temperature controlled care facilities where you will remain until the time of your funeral.
Daily care checks are carried out, with all relevant observations and actions recorded carefully. People will be washed, dressed, and have light cosmetics applied if wished.
They may be dressed in their own clothes, or provided with a simple white gown. Each person is then placed comfortably within their coffin, helping create the most peaceful and positive experience possible for family and friends.
I would like to be washed and cared for, and I would prefer to wear a simple gown rather than my own clothes.
I do not wish to be clean shaven...a little bit of stubble is absolutely fine.
Alex knows exactly the look I would have been comfortable with.
I would prefer people to remember me through the memories we shared together, rather than by seeing me laying in my coffin. Because of this, I do not wish for people to come and view me.
However, if you would like to spend time with me privately with the coffin lid closed, I am completely comfortable with that.
There is nothing specific I personally wish to have placed inside the coffin with me, although if you would like Alex to place something meaningful with me, I would be happy for you to do so.
There are many different additional options available when arranging a funeral.
As standard, here at Life Funerals we create an online tribute page in memory of the person who has died. This can also be linked to a particular charity that may have been close to somebody's heart. It provides a place where family and friends can come together to honour a life, share memories, Other optional choices can include flowers, obituary notices, stationery, and professionally printed order of service booklets. Some families also choose small keepsakes for those attending the funeral, such as packets of seeds, sweets, remembrance tokens, or a favourite photograph displayed on top of the coffin.
Every funeral is personal, and these smaller touches can often help reflect somebody's personality and the life they lived.
pload photographs, and even light a digital candle in years to come.
My Choices's
I would like to keep things fairly straightforward and simple.
I have decided that I would like a respectful floral display to be placed on top of my coffin... something seasonal and tasteful, but nothing too large. One thing I am certain about is that I do not want lilies.
If others wish to send flowers, I would be very happy for them to do so. Afterwards, I would love for the flowers to be donated to the Mountbatten Hospice. I hope they may bring somebody else even the smallest amount of joy and cheerfulness.
I have also decided to have printed order of service booklets. These will be presented as a folded card containing the running order of the service. I have selected certain photo for the cover, Alex has this.
There are many different options when it comes to ashes and what can be done with them afterwards. Ashes can be turned into keepsakes, such as jewellery, photo frames, pieces of artwork, or even candle holders that can be lit on special anniversaries or simply during moments of remembrance.
Urns are available in many styles, ranging from traditional ceramic designs to colourful William Morris patterns, handcrafted ceramics, and even biodegradable acorn-shaped urns designed to return naturally to the earth. Ashes may be scattered, interred, kept at home, incorporated into fireworks, or even sent into space.
All ashes are returned from the crematorium in a simple biodegradable box urn together with a Certificate of Cremation. This certificate is required should the ashes later be interred. If ashes are intended to be taken abroad, an international certificate will also need to be obtained, and we at Life Funerals can arrange this if required.
My Ashes
I would like Alex to collect my ashes from the crematorium following the cremation.
I would then like Karen to collect my ashes from Life Funerals, and Im happy for others to decied what happens to them.
I've always liked things done properly. As a craftsman, I believed in keeping things simple, honest, and made with care, and that is how I would like my funeral to be.
I have chosen an attended cremation on the Isle of Wight where family and friends can come together to remember me, share stories, and celebrate my life. I do not want anything overly formal or heavily religious...just something warm, relaxed, and genuine.
I've chosen a simple oak veneer coffin, seasonal flowers, printed order of service booklets, and private care handled with dignity. Above all, I hope the day feels personal, thoughtful, and true to me.
If you are reading this, thank you.
This booklet is simply my way of making things a little easier for those I care about and making sure my wishes are known.
Please remember me for the good times, the laughter, the music, and the memories we shared together.
Look after one another, share a story about me now and then, and try to smile when you do.
With love, Paul Anthony May
This booklet has been produced by 'Life.' to help document and record personal funeral wishes.
Please note that the registration of funeral wishes is not a prepaid funeral plan. No money has been exchanged or secured towards the funeral arrangements or the future facilitation of the funeral detailed within this booklet.
Life. is a trading name of Life Funerals Ltd. Company Registration Number: 17039669 Registered Office:
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