Wonderland EP

“Wonderland is a bit of a time capsule. Coming of age stories have always fascinated me—how and when people discover themselves. I looked at my life and thought I was finally becoming, so I wrote it down. Wonderland was a tinnitus-inducing show where I snuck out back and pretended to have smoked a cigarette before; the pain I’d been burying tearing its way through; strangers and lovers at the same time. It was finding community, still feeling lonely, finding a voice but too scared to say anything—though less so now that I’ve found a place in it all. I’m grateful for how building this world has changed me. Maybe now, someone else should give it a spin."

Everything’s Fine’s instrumental came about very quickly. It was an exercise in trust for me, just running with the first idea I had. I tracked and wrote the riff at the same time. When I started to yell out some melodies—again just trying things, running with it. The phrase "Vienna Vienna Vienna" came out. I thought it sounded pretty, and I realized very shortly after where it was coming from. A friend of mine had recently told me that not sharing my struggle was only making it worse, they read me completely. I thought they had summed up just about everything. Vienna is something you reach for, something you dream about. A place where nobody can truly see you. I realized it was something I needed to let go of.

• “I'm not scared to die”
• Yeah fucking right
• You’re too cool to care
• But you fucking tried
• You called me up

Just to call me a bitch, but I deserved it

Shit hurt, but it was worth it

Apologize

But I just keep on trying all the same shit

• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything’s fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine

You're fine and I'm fine, so it's fine

[Verse 1]

Don't wanna be selfish

When I’m looking helpless

I bite back at the hand where the help is Always saying that I’m gonna get better

But I got too stoned and I kept on forgetting

Yeah the truth is I'm doing just fine

• I said it back then
• But I mean it this time
• [Chorus]
• “I’m not scared to die”
• Yeah fucking right
• You're too cool to care
• But you fucking tried
• You called me up

Just to call me a bitch, but I deserved it

Shit hurt, but it was worth it

Apologize

But I just keep on trying all the same shit

• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything’s fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine

You're fine and I'm fine, so it's fine

• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine

You're fine and I'm fine, so it's fine

[Verse 2]

You're my friend and you keep me in check

But for now I'd like a moment just to be fucking mess, so

Piss off, just for trying to love me I guess

I politely request (yeah fucking right)

A conversational narcissist

No, you're not a part of this I try every day to get into the heart of this But the truth is I'm doing just fine

• I said it back then
• I'll say it one more time
• [Chorus]
• “I'm not scared to die”
• Yeah fucking right
• You're too cool to care
• But you fucking tried
• You called me up

Just to call me a bitch, but I deserved it

Shit hurt, but it was worth it

Apologize

But I just keep on trying all the same shit

• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine

You're fine and I'm fine, so it's fine

• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine
• Everything's fine, yeah, everything's fine

You're fine and I'm fine, so it's fine

Looking for pretty much anything to occupy my time and attention, I turned my head the wrong way and faced down every unhealthy coping mechanism at the same time. Sex Drugs Whatever is a collage of notes app quips. I’ve always loved cliche, and I’ve spent much of my time trying to invent some of my own.

• Still staring at the ceiling
• All my friends are fast asleep
• All I'm gonna do is get
• Drunk again and terrified
• I'm haunted by the noise inside
• It's history repeating in your eyes

I'm begging you to fill the void

I'm feeling sick and paranoid

Oh all is well but ends inside my mind

Maybe I'm just clinically depressed

Maybe I should go and get my head checked

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is, sex, drugs

I hate the way you know that I'm obsessed

Wishing I could find a way miss you less

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is Sex, drugs, whatever this is I am so cautious when talking like this You'll think I'm crazy unzipping my lips

All of the words start to blur, then it hurts, can you stomach the list?

I am so sick

How will I know if the burdens on you?

I'm giving in I'm afraid that I'll lose

Sanity must be induced, question the truth

Maybe I'm just clinically depressed

Maybe I should go and get my head checked

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is, sex, drugs

I hate the way you know that I'm obsessed

Wishing I could find a way miss you less

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is Sex, drugs, whatever this is Drunk again and terrified

I'm haunted by the noise inside

It's history repeating in your eyes

You know I'm begging you to fill the void

I'm feeling sick and paranoid

Oh all is well but ends inside my mind

Maybe I'm just clinically depressed

Maybe I should go and get my head checked

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is, sex, drugs

I hate the way you know that I'm obsessed

Wishing I could find a way miss you less

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is Sex, drugs, whatever this is Maybe I'm just clinically depressed

Maybe I should go and get my head checked

Maybe I just need a little sex, drugs, whatever this is, sex, drugs

I hate the way you know that I'm obsessed

I wish that I could find a way miss you less

So I'll pretend I need sex, drugs, whatever this-

Sex, drugs, whatever this is Whatever this is, oh whatever this is

Wonderland started as a voice memo, a somber little acoustic tune. I sat with it and realized I was, just a bit bored. I’ve spent a ton of time in theatre and I thought it was right to channel a dramatic spirit. Building out the vocal harmony was a patient effort. I wanted everything to feel lush and dynamic, I did my best to channel a little Freddy.

Closing the blinds so it's easier to forget

The smoke in your eyes as they hide and disguise all the panic

Is this the end of the planet?

Heatwave

Locked up inside 'cause the fire in the sky doesn't feel safe

Airwaves

Poison your mind as you hear all the lies of a new fate

I'll meet you online, we'll leave it behind

And fly through the skies of Wonderland

Through oceans of light, the future is bright

As long as we don't go back again

I fell in love with the world on the internet

Closing the blinds so it's easier to forget

The smoke in your eyes as they hide and disguise all the panic

Is this the end of the planet?

Loathing

Hatred and love are the same if you're sitting there choking

Coping

A fantasy life is much better than sitting and hoping

Knowing that life outside is no place for you and I

Knowing to stay inside and try not to panic

I'll meet you online, we'll leave it behind

And fly through the skies of Wonderland

Through oceans of light, the future is bright

As long as you don't go back again

I fell in love with the world on the internet

Closing the blinds so it's easier to forget

The smoke in your eyes as they hide and disguise all the panic

Is this the end of the planet?

Is this the end? Is this the end?

Life in Wonderland

Is this the end? Is this the end?

Life in Wonderland

Is this the end? Is this the end?

Life in Wonderland

Is this the end? Is this the end?

Life in Wonderland!

Is this the end of the planet?

This song was totally in service of the live show. I wanted it to feel explosive and magnetic. Focused on sticky riffs and cut-you-in-half guitar tones. I thought about strangers and lovers and how sometimes you get both at the same time.

Think that we should do bad things in this parking lot.”

I’m getting nervous when I'm looking at your knee-high boots

You looked at me and said, “I’m gonna make a man out of you.”

Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do We’re pulling in and biting lips and tasting bubble gum

You run your fingers through my hair I think I'm gonna…

Come to my senses realize that I’m in over my head

They say that chivalry’s dead, but then you open the door

We’re in the back of the car, the windows covered in fog

I know how it’s gonna еnd but I don’t know where to start

And now you’re taking it off and now i’m losing my cool

Bеcause you said again, “I’m gonna make a man out of you.”

Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do Now we’re running on the power of ecstasy

And every touch is pure electricity

I could die as I’m touching the sky and that look in your eye’s gonna bring me to life

Yeah you can pin me down, or you can tie me up

No, I don’t mind it babe I like it when you’re a little rough

Never knew how to scream, now I know what you mean

Can you hear- oh I can hear the angels sing

Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do I’ll make a, I’ll make a, I’ll make a man out of you

I’ll make a, I’ll make a, I’ll make a man out of you

I’ll make a, yeah make a, yeah make a man out of you

Ill make a man out, I’ll make a, lets make a man out of you

Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

You command, you command, you command and I do Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

Make a man, make a man, make a man out of you

People grow in rain. Luckily this might mean that we’re all wildflowers, so, at least thats something to hold on to. Writing this song was therapeutic for me, I learned a lot about myself. At the time I was listening to mostly Radiohead. I’m obsessed with the way they utilize structure and build tension. I knew I knew this song would need a cathartic payoff.

Gave you gave the light from the sun in my pocket

You disappeared and you told me you lost it

Now I spend the nights wishing that you were here in the day

You got real sick and then I tried to fix you

Discarding my pain and then hiding my issues

I got so scared of the thought of you being alone

[Pre-Chorus]

I hate the part where I tell you "no"

• And you say
• [Chorus]
• "Kiss me goodbye
• One more last time
• Show me your light
• One more last time
• [Verse 2]

I hope someday, like the change of the weather

That we'll find a place

You'll understand how I loved you and left you so soon

I know I'll probably be hurting forever

But some hearts are not meant beat with each other

Love fucking sucks

But we both know it's timing that kills

• [Pre-Chorus]
• I wish I could
• But you know I can't
• [Chorus]
• Kiss you goodbye
• One more last time
• Give you my light
• One more last time
• [Pre-Chorus]
• If things were different
• Then I would've said
• [Chorus]
• "Kiss me goodbye
• One more last time
• Show me your light
• One more last time"
• Please

I never intended to record this song, I always thought it was best in a live setting. Beauty queen is a plea for acceptance. It’s not recorded to a click, it was done in one take, live in an airplane hanger. We added a few things on guitar in post but, but, those vocals are true, live, intimate experience.

You're like a wave, you always pull me in With the moon, you push away again

• Letting me know
• I'm not perfect, I'm not anything
• Now it's raining with adrenaline
• I overdose
• [Pre-Chorus]

Somedays you dress me and it's beautiful

Somedays I'm naked with nothing to hold

Tell me you hate me and it's all my fault

• I must be crazy
• [Chorus]
• Let me be your beauty queen
• Wrap me up in therapy
• You could be my everything
• I'll do anything
• I'll do anything
• Anything
• I'll be your beauty queen
• [Verse 2]

Now I'm dancing with your ghost again

Every time we die you fill me in I'm diagnosed

Something's wrong I feel it sinking in Thеn we start to float away again

To the unknown

[Pre-Chorus]

Somedays you drеss me and it's beautiful

Somedays I'm naked with nothing to hold

Tell me you hate me and it's all my fault

• I must be crazy
• [Chorus]
• Let me be your beauty queen
• Wrap me up in therapy
• You could be my everything
• I'll do anything
• I'll do anything
• Anything
• I'll be your beauty queen
• [Outro]

If you let me in At all

At all

And I'll let me in At all

At all

If you let me in At all

• At all
• Let me be your beauty queen
• Wrap me up in therapy
• You could be my everything
• I'll do anything
• I'll do anything

2. Sex Drugs Whatever

3. Wonderland

4. Make a Man Out of You

5. One More Last Time

6. Beauty Queen www.viennaviennamusic.com